It's suppertime, and I have to be with them. I sit at the right hand of Dad
and shovel in an adult serving of whatever as fast as I can. Mom must think I am
hungry but I never ask for seconds. I have got to get out of there. I've cleaned my plate as required.
"May I be excused?” I asked looking up at Dad.
Normally, he glances at my plate and I get a grunt of assent and I race off. Anticipating this, I am already out of my chair, my soul is halfway up the stair.
"No" he grunted.
I am startled; try to freeze. What do I do? He said no; I don't want more to eat; I want to be gone.
"STOP FIDGETING BOY".
With that, I reluctantly get back into my seat, my soul reluctantly comes back down the stairs, and I will myself invisible. Maybe today he just wants to show whose boss. If I am lucky now, he'll ignore me until he's done. No such luck. He must have seen something on television to make him want a normal family.
"What did you do today at school?"
I freeze. I have forgotten the entire day in an instant. I don't know why; this has happened before. Why didn't I think of something in advance? I look over at my teenage sister who is head down playing with her food. Don't blame her really, she had her interrogation two nights ago and I was forced to watch her tell her story. She is better at remembering, or lying, than me and I envy this now.
The ham fist comes down and the table shakes making the dishes jump and land nervously.
"ANSWER ME BOY!".
I can't. I look up since it’s better to see it coming than not. He's not looking at me.
"Don't you want to hear what the boy did at that school?"
Mom has her fourth drink in her hand and gestures with it as if to say "sure", "whatever" or "give me another drink". He turns back to me.
"I work too hard and pay too much money to that private school of yours to hear NOTHING about it. It wasn't MY IDEA to waste that money."
He looks up at the empty chair. She must have meant another drink. He looks over at the kitchen and watcher her come back to the chair.
"I told you not to drink in front of the kids".
She's startled; this wasn't about her. She speaks to me for the first time that day
"Now John, you know this is mommy's special water and you are not to drink it."
I nod. It looks like water but smells like poison and I don't know why anyone would drink so much of it. I sense my chance and take it.
"May I be excused?"
"GO" he barks while staring at Mom. I escape to my cell.
"May I be excused?” I asked looking up at Dad.
Normally, he glances at my plate and I get a grunt of assent and I race off. Anticipating this, I am already out of my chair, my soul is halfway up the stair.
"No" he grunted.
I am startled; try to freeze. What do I do? He said no; I don't want more to eat; I want to be gone.
"STOP FIDGETING BOY".
With that, I reluctantly get back into my seat, my soul reluctantly comes back down the stairs, and I will myself invisible. Maybe today he just wants to show whose boss. If I am lucky now, he'll ignore me until he's done. No such luck. He must have seen something on television to make him want a normal family.
"What did you do today at school?"
I freeze. I have forgotten the entire day in an instant. I don't know why; this has happened before. Why didn't I think of something in advance? I look over at my teenage sister who is head down playing with her food. Don't blame her really, she had her interrogation two nights ago and I was forced to watch her tell her story. She is better at remembering, or lying, than me and I envy this now.
The ham fist comes down and the table shakes making the dishes jump and land nervously.
"ANSWER ME BOY!".
I can't. I look up since it’s better to see it coming than not. He's not looking at me.
"Don't you want to hear what the boy did at that school?"
Mom has her fourth drink in her hand and gestures with it as if to say "sure", "whatever" or "give me another drink". He turns back to me.
"I work too hard and pay too much money to that private school of yours to hear NOTHING about it. It wasn't MY IDEA to waste that money."
He looks up at the empty chair. She must have meant another drink. He looks over at the kitchen and watcher her come back to the chair.
"I told you not to drink in front of the kids".
She's startled; this wasn't about her. She speaks to me for the first time that day
"Now John, you know this is mommy's special water and you are not to drink it."
I nod. It looks like water but smells like poison and I don't know why anyone would drink so much of it. I sense my chance and take it.
"May I be excused?"
"GO" he barks while staring at Mom. I escape to my cell.
